Frustrated..

I haven't updated in a while because there hasn't been much to say, not a whole lot has changed, besides finding out that we're expecting a baby girl!
Otherwise, everything is about the same.  I'm in a pretty good bit of pain still, in some ways worse than I was right after surgery.  I still can't feel parts of my skull and have a great deal of pain in my neck and back of my head.  For the last week or so I have also been having many of the throbbing Chiari headaches, lately about 20-30 a day, in addition to regular headaches.  Everytime I turn my head, look down, get up, sit down, roll over in bed, etc., I feel that throbbing pain come from the back of my head to my forehead and throb for a good 5-10 seconds.  Sometimes they come one after another and feel like it's never going to end. They are as strong and sometimes stronger than before, and definitely more frequent.  I sit here right now watching Kevin vacuum and I can't imagine being able to do that right now.  The pain would be unbearable.
I have another follow-up appointment at my neurosurgeon's office tomorrow so I'm definitely anxious to see what they have to say.  I have one month before I have to be back on full-time Mommy duty and we're definitely worried about whether or not I'm going to be ready. 
In the meantime, we cannot thank everyone enough for all of the amazing food we've been eating for the past few weeks.  We have truly been so spoiled, it's blown us away and we couldn't do this without you. 
I'll try to post another update soon after my appointment, in hopes that there's something positive to share!

Wow...

I apologize for taking so long to make this first post-op blog entry.  Needless to say the surgery has been an experience.  At a future date I'll go into details of the surgery, recovery, etc., but for now I just wanted to let everyone know that we came home on our earliest possible release date, which was Christmas eve, so there were no complications, and I got to be with all of my family on Christmas morning :)  The surgery went as well as we could have hoped for.  I had a lot of difficulty keeping pain meds and muscle relaxers down, most likely enhanced by the pregnancy, therefore I was sick somewhat frequently.  We finally settled on Tylenol and Flexeril; not the strongest pain relief, that's for sure, but it's pretty much all my stomach can handle.  I definitely miss my morphine button!  I'm in a lot of pain, I basically feel like I not only had my skull drilled into and a vertebrae removed, but also a jaw/face lift.  Everything from my shoulders up absolutely just aches!  Sleep is interesting, I set my alarm to wake up for medication because I don't want to think of going without it, even though it doesn't seem to do too much, but I usually see every hour of the night on my clock anyway.  I also spend the majority of the day laying down because sitting up is difficult.  The sutures are on the back of my head and it is painful to lean back against them, even on the cushiest of chairs.  It's also exhausting to hold my head up on newly reconnected neck muscles, so laying down on my side is the best option.
I can't say thank you enough to everyone who has kept us in their thoughts and said prayers for us.  Another HUGE thank you to those who have already brought or sent food, and to those who plan to.  Kevin is starting to realize how nice it is not having to worry about every meal!
XO for now..

Busy week!

My pre-op appointment went well on Monday, as far as I know.  We were able to avoid the chest x-ray and only had to do bloodwork and EKG, along with paperwork of course.  I arrived at my doctor's office at around 1015 and was heading home from the hospital a little before 2.  We then saw the OB on Tuesday for a final listen to the heartbeat before surgery.  Dr. Z let us know that she had talked to Dr. Bronec the week before about meds I would be able to take and she gave him her cell number so she could be reached at anytime while I'm in the hospital, she continues to amaze us with how much she truly cares. 
My poor Logan is under the weather so instead of snuggling him all week like I had hoped, I'm having to stay away so I don't get sick and jeopardize the surgery.  It's killing me :(  He goes to the pediatrician later today with Daddy to make sure he doesn't have an ear infection.  He's had a fever of 101-102 since yesterday afternoon but his only symptom is a cough.
We're spending the week trying to take care of everything for my parents arrival, Christmas, and the end of the year.  My parents should be here tomorrow evening and as of right now I'm the only one on Dr. Bronec's surgery schedule for Friday which means we should have a 730am start time.  It's going to be an early morning, but that gives us the best chance of being home on Christmas eve, as long as I 'kill it like a rockstar' as Joey, the PA, put it :)  We have a great anesthesiologist who came highly recommended and my friend Leigh's favorite nurse to the anesthesiologist, Greg.
Thanks so much to everyone who has signed up to bring food, sent food, and those who have gone out of your way to do so much for us during this time.  All prayers and caring thoughts are very much appreciated.  I'm guessing my next post will be post-op, hopefully I'll be up to it after not too long!  XO :)

Getting closer..

It's hard to believe that one week from Friday is my surgery..
My amazing friend Leigh created a Food Tidings website for our friends to sign up to bring meals, etc. after we get home from surgery.  The dates start on the 26th because that's the day my parents have to leave, and my total spoiling will end :(  I'm sure many of you saw the link on FB or received an email from Leigh, but if not and you're interested, here it is: http://www.foodtidings.com/SignUp.aspx?ScheduleGuid=0742b845-9378-444f-a6c9-e1aaebb2fe34   Anything at all would be greatly appreciated, even if it's just your favorite dessert, that is fine with me ;)  If you're not big on cooking, we plan to do a bit of carry out too so gift cards would also be much appreciated! 
I can't tell you how much of a relief it is that my parents will be here with Logan while Kevin and I are away at the hospital.  I will not worry about him for a second, which you fellow parents know is priceless at a time like this.  I don't know who is going to have more fun, my parents or Logan!  I just wish I could spend more time with them while they're here because it will probably be a while before we're able to get home again.  Hopefully my mother-in-law will also be able to visit later in January and spend some quality time with the boys.  I'll join in if I'm up to it! 
Our schedule for next week is getting pretty packed at this point.  Medically, here's how things look.  On Monday I have my pre-op appt.  I'll be spending quite a few hours in Durham I'm sure between my neurosurgeon's office, mostly for paperwork I believe, then just down the road to the hospital where I'll have my bloodwork and possibly a chest x-ray as a precaution for the anesthesia.  They're going to leave it up to the anesthesiologist as to whether or not the x-ray is necessary.  We of course would like to avoid it for the baby, but I do have asthma so once again it's a situation where we have to weigh the risks.  On Tuesday we'll see my OB.  She wanted to see me the week of surgery, I think just to hear the heartbeat and make sure all seems well before the big day.  Last but not least is surgery on Friday.  We're definitely going to be busy between now and then, but trust me, we plan to make the most of it.  I'm looking forward to date night on Saturday with Kevin, Logan's preschool church performance (singing 3 songs) on Sunday, and spending the rest of weekend finally decorating the house with the boys for Christmas!  Better late than never, maybe we'll leave it all up a little longer to make up for the late start :)
Thanks again to everyone for their love and concern, it's really been overwhelming, but in a good way...XO :)

Thoughts...

This post is going to be one of few that will go against the grain here, it's not about Chiari.  I have some thoughts in my head tonight that I have to get out before I can sleep, and I figured this was the best place for now.
This pregnancy has been different than my first for many reasons.  Mostly you hear that it's because of the nausea and sickness I'm experiencing this time, but that's not all.  Last time around I sat waiting each month (thankfully not for too many), pregnancy tests in hand, to see if it was our time to be blessed with a little miracle.  I was ready, waiting, and welcoming all that was to come, the good and the not-so-great.  This time it snuck up on us, and was here whether we were ready for baby or not.  I think that's why, even though I'm constantly reminded of it with how I feel every day, it still hadn't seemed real to me, until today. 
Today I was motivated to put on make-up and flat iron my hair for the first time since October 7th (yes nearly 2 months), put on clothes that are not sweats or yoga pants, and head out to lunch with a good friend.  Thankfully those clothes still fit, though unfortunate that it's because of the way I've been feeling, but they couldn't hide the precious bump that has once again become a part of me.  I don't know if it's been there for a bit, hiding under the t-shirts, or if it just popped out today for the special occasion, but I'm glad it did.  It really does seem real now, and maybe, just maybe, it'll help me get through the not-so-great days yet to come...

Dear Baby,
We're going to have some rough days ahead little one, but please know that everything we're doing we truly feel is in your, and our family's best interest.  Just hang in there with us and be strong, I promise you, the best is yet to come :)
All my love,
Mommy

Pre-op scheduled..

Last Tuesday I met with Dr. Bronec, my neurosurgeon, in Durham for an update.  I thought I would see the PA, but nope!  He just wanted to meet with me one last time before pre-op, run all of the hands-on tests to see if anything had changed, discuss surgery, communication with my OB, and make all of our questions have been answered. 
My pre-op is scheduled for December 17th.  I'll be in Durham that day to sign paperwork at the office, then head to the hospital for blood work, etc., and possibly a chest x-ray as a precaution for the anesthesiologist.  We of course want to avoid x-rays with the pregnancy, but it may be a good idea since I do have slight asthma. 
I'm considering creating a caring bridge-type website at the request of a few local friends who want to provide food after surgery so I will keep you posted on that, once I have a chance to check it out! 
I'm really looking forward to having my parents and Ginger here in less than a month, but disappointed at the same time because I'm going to get to spend so little time with them. Ginger is my baby, I found her when I was in college at AU/LC being neglected by a breeder, it's hard to believe she's been with my parents for almost 10 years now.  I've always wanted to have her down here but didn't think it would ever happen.  She can't handle staying at even the best kennel, it's far too much stress for her at nearly 11 years old with her extreme attachment to my Mom, and the neighbor boy who usually watches her at the house will be away for Christmas, so she gets to come along :)  I can't wait to see how Tuff, Tini, and Logan react!  I'm really going to hate being at the hospital away from everyone here at home, but thankfully Kevin will be there with me the whole time...lucky him ;) 
XO

Been a few weeks..

Nothing major to update, just figured I would post something since it's been a few weeks.  I met with my OB last week so she could fill me in on her discussion with the high risk OB who had previously been out of the country.  He agreed that it isn't necessary to have an MFM present at my surgery since nothing could be done if the baby did go into distress.  Unfortunately at 16 weeks, it's not like a viable baby could be delivered.  Personally I would rather my neurosurgeon didn't know if that was happening so it didn't effect the job he's there to do.  He did agree though that we have the surgery scheduled for the best possible time, 16 weeks, which still amazes me since it was the time frame we chose before we even knew we were pregnant.  She also gave me a quick 11 week ultrasound, quite a change from 8 weeks!  We saw a great profile shot along with a distinct head, body, legs, and feet.  Also a rapid heartbeat of 162, up from 150 at 8 weeks.  We should be able to find out gender at our 18 week appointment in early January!
I have an appointment at the neuro clinic on Tuesday, I think just to see the PA and make sure nothing has changed very much and see how I'm doing.  Hopefully we'll schedule my pre-op appointment at that time.  Very grateful for my friends and neighbors who will be keeping Logan for me, as long as all of the kiddos stay healthy!
This pregnancy continues to be difficult, taking Phenergan at night and Zofran during they day for the persistent nausea.
I'd like to say thank you to Pete Dal Bello, the president of the International Chiari Association for featuring my story on their website last week. Also, thanks to Jess from the Chiari USA Facebook page for her efforts and concern.  It is all very much appreciated!
Thanks to everyone for your continued love and support, XO :)